Beautifully Grotesque, 2018
I was a late bloomer and a scrawny kid. When my breast grew-in, they were perky but very small. Everynight, I prayed for larger breast. In my twenties I vowed to get implants but could not afford them. When I became premenopausal, I gained a ton of weight and my breast grew twice their size. Though society may reference them as 'imperfections,' touching my rolls and heavy breasts sexually arouse me. For the first time, after decades of wishing I was different, I achieved an unyielding love for my body.
I was a late bloomer and a scrawny kid. When my breast grew-in, they were perky but very small. Everynight, I prayed for larger breast. In my twenties I vowed to get implants but could not afford them. When I became premenopausal, I gained a ton of weight and my breast grew twice their size. Though society may reference them as 'imperfections,' touching my rolls and heavy breasts sexually arouse me. For the first time, after decades of wishing I was different, I achieved an unyielding love for my body.
Generation Mountain, 2019
My great-grandmother, grandmother, and my mother all developed painful bunions, which is hereditary as I have begun to develop it myself. My great-grandma and grandmother passed away in El Salvador with severely disfigured feet. Two decades ago, my mother underwent corrective surgery in California. My insurance will not cover the same procedure until this condition becomes unbearably painful.
My great-grandmother, grandmother, and my mother all developed painful bunions, which is hereditary as I have begun to develop it myself. My great-grandma and grandmother passed away in El Salvador with severely disfigured feet. Two decades ago, my mother underwent corrective surgery in California. My insurance will not cover the same procedure until this condition becomes unbearably painful.
Botox Fail, 2021
As a light skinned Latina, other Latinos mistake me for a 'white girl'. Some said the only dead give-away were my full lips. When a woman reaches middle age, it is medically common for her lips to thin. Concerned the only attribute identifying me as Hispanic was fading, I had botox injected in my lips. unfortunately, I developed an infection that almost disfigured them.
As a light skinned Latina, other Latinos mistake me for a 'white girl'. Some said the only dead give-away were my full lips. When a woman reaches middle age, it is medically common for her lips to thin. Concerned the only attribute identifying me as Hispanic was fading, I had botox injected in my lips. unfortunately, I developed an infection that almost disfigured them.
Perspective
I always adored my pot belly. However, at nineteen, my very first boyfriend described it as a negative attribute. This started my battle with bulimia that ended in my late thirties. As a result of this extreme weight gain and loss, compiled with three full term pregnancies, my stomach skin sags and is riddled with stretch marks. The older I get, the more pronounce these become. A couple of years ago, I was on a date with a man who pursued me aggressively. On our third date, he took me to restaurant on the beach. As the waiter pulled my chair, the wind blew my silk blouse over my face revealing my stomach. I didn't hear from him again,
I always adored my pot belly. However, at nineteen, my very first boyfriend described it as a negative attribute. This started my battle with bulimia that ended in my late thirties. As a result of this extreme weight gain and loss, compiled with three full term pregnancies, my stomach skin sags and is riddled with stretch marks. The older I get, the more pronounce these become. A couple of years ago, I was on a date with a man who pursued me aggressively. On our third date, he took me to restaurant on the beach. As the waiter pulled my chair, the wind blew my silk blouse over my face revealing my stomach. I didn't hear from him again,
The Incredible Disappearing Woman
When I was in my teens and twenties, everytime I walked about the streets, men would shout-out cat calls or pull their cars over to ask me out on dates. Now, as I stroll about window shopping or on my many travels around the world, neither of those things happen. I feel as if I have become invisible to men.
When I was in my teens and twenties, everytime I walked about the streets, men would shout-out cat calls or pull their cars over to ask me out on dates. Now, as I stroll about window shopping or on my many travels around the world, neither of those things happen. I feel as if I have become invisible to men.
Never Hide Your Smile
SInce I can remember, I received compliments on my smile. When I moved to New York for art school, my coffee intake increased and I became a smoker. Now, most of my front teeth are yellow or decaying so I began to place my hands over my mouth whenever I smile. One day a childhood friend I had not seen in years noticed this new habit and reprimanded me. I have made great stride in breaking my embarrassment towards my aging teeth.
SInce I can remember, I received compliments on my smile. When I moved to New York for art school, my coffee intake increased and I became a smoker. Now, most of my front teeth are yellow or decaying so I began to place my hands over my mouth whenever I smile. One day a childhood friend I had not seen in years noticed this new habit and reprimanded me. I have made great stride in breaking my embarrassment towards my aging teeth.
Broken Wax Promises, 2019
My father was a very hairy man. Of all places, I inherited his hairiness in my arms. I was a true daddy's girl so he adored this attribute of mine, and often combed my arm hair with his hands. When we immigrated to California from El Salvador and I began to attend school, two American girls mocked me. I have shaved religiously since.
My father was a very hairy man. Of all places, I inherited his hairiness in my arms. I was a true daddy's girl so he adored this attribute of mine, and often combed my arm hair with his hands. When we immigrated to California from El Salvador and I began to attend school, two American girls mocked me. I have shaved religiously since.
Chinny Chin Chin, 2019
For some odd reason, hair has began to grow in the oddest places of my body. This is not a photograph of my chin.
For some odd reason, hair has began to grow in the oddest places of my body. This is not a photograph of my chin.
Liver Spot Canyon, 2019
I always wanted a mole on the side of my upper lip, similar to those sexy models and movies stars have. In 2019, I noticed moles developing in various areas of my body. None have grown on my upper lip.
I always wanted a mole on the side of my upper lip, similar to those sexy models and movies stars have. In 2019, I noticed moles developing in various areas of my body. None have grown on my upper lip.
New Directions, 2018
I once heard it said that a woman's wrinkle lines are the road map to her life story. I still don't know what mine are saying.
I once heard it said that a woman's wrinkle lines are the road map to her life story. I still don't know what mine are saying.