Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - Choose Your Weapon, 2021 - My dad worked with thick...
Choose Your Weapon, 2021 - My dad worked with thick wooden paintbrushes.... READ ON
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - Sus Cosas Favoritas, 2021
Sus Cosas Favoritas, 2021
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - God and The Boulder  -  This image depicts...
God and The Boulder  -  This image depicts a remarkably... READ ON
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - Nos Vemos En Mis Sueños, 2023 - My father 1983...
Nos Vemos En Mis Sueños, 2023 - My father 1983 Me 2017
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - La Pippa Ajena, 2023 - P hotograph of  a framed...
La Pippa Ajena, 2023 - P hotograph of  a framed  pipe, similar... READ ON
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - La Optimista Contra El Pesimista, 2023
La Optimista Contra El Pesimista, 2023
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - The Last Letter, 2023 Letter sits on top of a digital...
The Last Letter, 2023 Letter sits on top of a digital collage with... READ ON
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - Ode To The Mad Men, 2023 - My photograph and dad's...
Ode To The Mad Men, 2023 - My photograph and dad's painting... READ ON
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - Her Hopes My Delusions, 2022 - Photo composite
Her Hopes My Delusions, 2022 - Photo composite
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - La Lotería, 2023
La Lotería, 2023
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - Insert You 'Here', 2022
Insert You 'Here', 2022
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - Tres Veces Mojado (ThreeTimes a Wetback) , 2023 -...
Tres Veces Mojado (ThreeTimes a Wetback) , 2023 - My grandfather, a... READ ON
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - La Pera Bordara, 2023 - Dad painted a series of...
La Pera Bordara, 2023 - Dad painted a series of provocative fruits. The last... READ ON
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo - Mi Angelito, 2021
Mi Angelito, 2021
Pobresito Artista Que Era Yo -
PROBECITO ARTISTA QUE ERA YO (1)

In this new and deeply personal series, I embark on a heartfelt journey to understand the complex relationship I had with my late father. It encompasses an exploration of his profound influence on my artistic aspirations and the gradual deterioration of his mental health that commenced shortly after our migration to the United States. Due to my father's political affiliations, we fled our beloved El Salvador as refugees, leaving behind my mother's family, my father's successful career as an artist, and a comfortable upper middle-class lifestyle.

After settling in California, we encountered financial difficulties that contributed to my father's battle with alcoholism. This struggle became the catalyst for the abuse he inflicted on my mother, siblings, and me. Eventually my parents divorced, and with time, dad found solace in sobriety and rekindled his passion for painting -even though the recognition he sought remained elusive. Feeling lonely and destitute, he retired and returned to El Salvador, which settled as a democracy that ended the revolution. Unfortunately, within two years he passed away due to complications related to diabetes that were exacerbated by his relapse into alcohol.

Initially, my mourning was superficial since my father and I had been estranged for ten years, burdened by unresolved emotions and distance. However, during the pandemic, I stumbled upon a collection of family photos that sparked a profound awakening within me. With the use of collage, superimposed images, and textual elements, my aim is to conceptually reconstruct the adverse narrative I once held of my father. Employing various multimedia techniques, I depict him as an ethereal figure—a beacon of guidance, support, trust, and companionship. As this series unfolds, it invokes a transformative journey of reconciliation, urging me to confront the intricate complexities inherent in familial bonds, unearthing long-buried memories, and ultimately discovering solace through the profound capacity of forgiveness.

BIBLIOGRAPHY
(1)  The title of this series was inspired by Salvadoran poet Roque Dalton's book of poetry entitled "Probecito Poeta Que Era Yo".  Dalton was a guerrilla sympathizer who was allegedly assassinated by members of the Ejército Revolucionario del Pueblo (ERP), during the Salvadorian revolution.

Rocio De Alba Multimedia Lens based Artist

Rocio De Alba, Rocio Photos, self-portraits,Girl Anachronism, miracle baby, conceptual documentary, women addiction, la de alba, alcoholism, women's health, NY photographer, family, fatherhood, photo narratives, conceptual, female nudes, abstract, feminism, daughter, son, revolution, El Salvador
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